


won't you trust me

by thebeasknees



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Consent, Hand Jobs, M/M, Multiple times, Sexy Times, THIS WAS A DARE I SWEAR, because ew, experienced Evan Hansen, if you know me and you see this, literally just filth, locked because i am scare, no you didn't, overstim, they aren't underage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:27:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26666665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebeasknees/pseuds/thebeasknees
Summary: Connor Murphy is fucking pissed.And that's his usual mood, obviously, because he's always pissed at something. A creak in the wood of his house or some asshole that just has to state their opinion of him out of school while he's walking passed, and he'll never understand that, because why would you go out of your way when highschool is over to get some outcast pissed?Or just people being dumb.People are just fantastic at being idiots.But today wasn't the same thing.OR: Connor is sexually frustrated, because it's Connor. Evan isn't.OR OR: I got dared, and this is the outcome.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 104





	won't you trust me

Connor Murphy is fucking pissed.

And that's his usual mood, obviously, because he's  _ always  _ pissed at something. A creak in the wood of his house or some asshole that just has to state their opinion of him out of school while he's walking passed, and he'll never understand that, because why would you go out of your way when highschool is  _ over  _ to get some outcast pissed?

Or just people being dumb.

People are just fantastic at being idiots.

But today wasn't the same thing. Today, it was different, and it was because he woke up from a shitty dream that had some shitty things happen to him and he's just. So frustrated because he can't even get himself off because since he was like, twelve and figured out the wonders of masturbation,

He's always had a problem finishing.

And it just.  _ Sucked  _ to wake up and immediately need a cold shower. And he'd always heard of like,  _ girls  _ having problems with something like that, but never guys.

_ Never  _ boys.

And he wasn't a girl. He was gay obviously, but he wasn't a girl.

Connor couldn't bring it up with his doctor, because  _ who  _ would? How would he even insert that into the conversation?

_ Yeah, doc, i've come to tell you that I'm  _ _ so  _ _ horny that I actually came to ask you if you know why i can't get off right. _

He had some dignity left, and that interaction would destroy it.

So he was stuck to pillows, which like,  _ gross _ because that's where he sleeps. And most of the time it doesn't even work right. 

But he could worry about that later, because currently he was in his best-friend-kind-of-trying-out-dates-but-not-fully-committed-'s house.

With a  _ major  _ fucking hard on.

And like normal people, he would, originally like, go to the bathroom or something. But Connor wasn't normal, he was Connor, so he had to wait and put a pillow over his lap so it wasn't abruptly obvious.

They were on the couch.

Evan's eyes make a brief flicker from Connor's face and down to the pillow, then up him again.

"..Are yo- Are you okay?" Evan lightly applies pressure to the pillow, and it looks like he's just trying to support himself as he leans in to further search Connor's features, and it's  _ completely _ innocent, but fuck Connor can still feel it and it's not doing him well.

"Yeah. Yeah i'm-" Evan presses down  _ harder  _ and Connor nearly gasps and christ he needs to get himself together. He grips the couch arm thingy or  _ whatever  _ it's called and squeezes, placing his head firm into the couch and Evan is just  _ watching _ him, looking at him with confused eyes and furrowed eyebrows, and Connor has never felt so fucking bare and out there before.

"I'm good, don't worry." He whispers, and tries to focus on the tv. Evan is still looking at him, suspecting, and his hand is still placed lightly on the pillow.

  
  


Evan's eyes suddenly widened. He presses on the pillow and Connor scrambles almost, and Connor knows that Evan knows.

_ Fuck. _

"Oh." Evan breathes out, and he removes his hand. He seems like he's about to grab Connor's shoulder but Connor is already standing up, almost racing. 

It's  _ so  _ fucking embarassing. Why is he like this, on only his 5th date with Evan Hansen that's still kind of his best friend? Why can't he just keep it together for once?

"I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking weird and you probably don't even like me anymore because im being such a dumbass and I never meant for it to happen this way, I really didn't mean to, fuck, I understand if you think im weird but it was random and I  _ should _ have gone to the bathroom but its not like I can do anything about it so I-"

"What do yo- you mean you can't do anything about it?"

(The slip ups are just astronomical today, aren't they?)

"I don't.. I just. I can't." Connor replies, and it seems like Evan holds back an eye roll and a 'yeah, you told me that' as he looks at him with strong concentration.

"You mean like- like you can't get off?" Connor kind of flushes at the term of it and he needs to get his shit together, because he is not the awkward person in this relationship, really, he isn't weirded out by like. Talking about this.

He isn't.

Evan just seems so calm and likeable. Teenage-boy about it, and Connor feels like punching himself when he makes a slightly agitated nod, his lips pressing into a firm line.

  
  


And it's kind of weird, since he's expecting there to be a bad outcome even though he knows there's no Making Fun Of A Person bone in Evan's body. He's expecting to be, like, shamed, which is ridiculous because this wasn't really his fault.

  
  


Evan blinks for a while, and there's just pure silence for a moment. It's so quiet he can hear his heavy breathing, and Evan's light tapping on the living room floor.

"I could maybe- Maybe I could help?" Evan questions, and how the fuck is Connor even supposed to answer to that? Is he just supposed to be like. No?

He wants it to happen. He really,really wants it.

Connor makes a sound that he tries to make as neutral as possible before saying: "Have you ever maybe done anything like this?Before?"

Evan pauses and warmly applies a small grin to his face. It's filled with a slight nervousness. "I uh- I have."

Of fucking course the wreck that is Evan Hansen has fucked around before and Connor can't even kiss without feeling exposed.

Of course.

  
  


"I mean like- sure. Sure, what the hell?"

Evan twitches in surprise, and Connor looks away as Evan's eyes scan over him, and it's like he's already fucking undressing him.

It makes him feel  _ very  _ exposed.

"Okay," Evan says, soft and so light, like he's talking to some fucking newbie. Like Connor's something he needs to be fragile with, which he isn't- " 'Red' means stop, okay?"

He gets that. Connor might say like,  _ no  _ or some shit when he's close and all of this would have been for naught.

"What does 'red' mean, Con?"

  
  


"Stop."

  
  


Connor rolls his eyes and kind of just looks away, trying to focus on anything other than the fact that Evan's hands are feather light on his waist and they're unbuckling his jeans, or how he has to shuffle to help get them pulled to his knees.

_ Anything  _ else.

Evan takes off his boots, and Connor makes a grunt of disapproval. 

Evan nearly flies across the room.

  
  


"I'm sorry, sorry- do you want me to stop? Take a break? I- fuck, I don't even know why I- I said to, to do this, I'm so sorry if I' m making you uncomfy or something-"

"No!" Connor says a little too quickly. He clears his throat. "No. No, just… Taking off my boots was so extra." Connor attempts at joking, and Evan slightly giggles, throwing the boots across the room.

  
  


"So- You're, uh, good?"

Connor nods.

"I need like- like  _ sound  _ permission, Con-"

" _ Yes _ . Yes. Fuck, yes, dude, hurry up before we like. Chicken out."

"O-kay! Okay."

His pants are  _ also  _ thrown across the room, and Evan's hands are once again on his waist, light and trailing and pulling him closer and closer.

Connor rests his head against the arm of the couch and takes a deep breath.

"Ready?"

"Yea- Yeah, whatever." 

Evan's hand is slightly moving his boxers aside and then he's fucking  _ there  _ and holy shit if Evan wasn't good with his hands, holy  _ fuck. _

Connor is really trying to hold on at the moment, and he's biting his lip so hard he can feel himself drawing blood, and his leg is starting to shake because it already feels so, so good. Evan is so fucking  _ good  _ at it, running his fucking hand over him like he's got a script of How To Make Connor Moan Like A Bitch right next to him.

Connor is writhing, and his belly is lifting up and down. He brings his hand up to cover his mouth because it's starting to feel so good that his consistent lip-biting isn't doing him any well, but Evan slaps his hand away.

"Don't do that." Evan scowls, firm in his voice and that is just  _ not  _ what Connor needed at the moment, lords-

Evan starts to do this thing where he lightly grinds himself into Connor's thigh and for some reason it just makes it that much better, and Connor is so fucking close he can taste it,

But then the  _ thing  _ happens.

The thing that's gotten him into this situation in the first place.

His stomach tightens into several knots and he can barely feel his toes- his face is bright red and Connor's back arches off the couch and he  _ whines _ , and it's so embarrassing but he just can't control it.

"Oh my- Oh my fucking  _ god _ , Evan, Ev, Evanevanevanevan-"

"Yes?" Evan answers cheekily, and again, this is fucking embarassing and humiliating. Falling apart in front of someone he's known for a year, been in love with for 6 months, and started to Kind Of Date for only one.

He feels so vulnerable.

His hair falls out of his ponytail from how much he's thrashing, and Connor is trying to pull away and get closer at the same time but it just isn't enough, nothing is enough.

"Tell me what you- what you need, Con," Evan says, and Connor is lapping up anything he gives him, hopelessly thrusting into his hand and then trying to pull back, which only pushes him  _ closer  _ to the edge.

"Fuck, Evan,  _ please, I needa-" _

"Need what?" His hand speeds up and he holds Connor's waist in a firm grip, and there's no escape, he can't get away from it.

"I needa-  _ fuck, _ \- I need to- I need to come, please, Ev,  _ please _ ," Connor is writhing at this point, and his hoodie is gathering up and revealing his chest, his leg has been spasming for the last 30 seconds and really he needs to get there but at the same time he doesn't want to, it's all just too much-

"Okay. Be good for- for me, and come, okay?"

And that's all it takes, really. His whole body feels like it's snapping and his leg  _ actually  _ lifts up, and Evan has to force it back down. He's saying something, whining something, and it sounds something like 'thankyou, thankyou,' and then Evan's name over and over and over and over again- but everything just starts to mush together at some point and he doesn't even care because he can't feel or smell or touch, all he knows is Evan's hands on his waist and Evan's lips that are stumbling over his neck.

It's only when he snaps awake that he realizes that Evan's still got his hand wrapped around his dick and he's still  _ going,  _ and Connor has to physically kick him and whisper  _ 'red,red,' _ to finally get a break.

  
  


Connor feels like boiled noodles and doesn't really know what tells him to speak, because he's feeling loose and tired and weak.

But he speaks anyway.

"I- Thankyou."  _ I love you. _

"You don't have to uh- have to thank me. It's okay."

  
  


"Uh. Do you need help?" Connor questions, looking at the  _ very  _ obvious bulge in his khakis.

Evan shakes his head, which of course he would, because it's  _ Evan. _

Evan never says what he wants.

"Can I keep going?"

_ Keep going? _


End file.
